Changing

It's just a bit ridiculous that it's been so long since my last post. I don't even know where to begin. I feel as if I've lived more than a few lifetimes just this past week!  If I didn't know any better, I'd swear I was in the midst of Pharaoh's endless plagues trying to get out of Egypt and I'm really only wanting to get out of my own way.

I know I'm not alone when I'm overcome with anxiety or freak out over the smallest thing. I've seen full grown adults in full grown meltdowns, whining, tantrums and snit fits until it feels like I'm truly mental and at others, I feel so normal and am amazed that anything or anyone can function at all. I have to keep reminding myself that I am changing and my relationship to how things used to be and how they used to work is no longer valid. I am changing, I am changing, I am changing.

While time morphs and redefines itself, the world as I knew it is also swept into a new rhythm of change and I'd like to think of it as business as usual and it really isn't. I am grateful for what tools I have to cope with these changes but a part of me just wants to curl up and sleep through it because I find it all so tiring. I know it doesn't have to be a struggle so I choose again. I know it doesn't have to be a drag so I choose again. I know it doesn't have to be so complicated so I choose again. I am changing.

Yes, quite an incredible time to be part of this great shift (or this time of great shit depending on which side of the change you're on at the time). Talk soon.