With a Twist

So where have you been, New Year? I've been waiting all year for 2013 to fade into memory and it's still hanging on with its drama and dysfunction. I must say I will not be sorry to see it go. It feels like I just got used to all the crappy dishes 2013 served up and now, 2014 is knocking at the door. For all of my whining, boo-hooing and missteps, this past year has certainly been a mixed bag...a mixed bag of what may not ever be known since I really don't care to take the time to figure it out. While I certainly remember some laughter with periodic excitement, it was definitely a year of profound change for me. Yet another job gone, another long-distance move into a new home, new aches and pains and the realization that everything I embrace somehow crumbles when I hold it too close...then "things" start to fall together? In some twisted way, I see that the foundation I've been balancing on has been slowly crumbling and while I found a few strong footholds...

I just uploaded a new article: http://tinyurl.com/lvpgx4j and wanted to share it here as well. It was actually begun several months ago but for some reason, never finished. I guess everything in its time. I have a folder full of half-baked notions and half-baked ideas. I even have a website called half-baked, but no talent to develop it. You'd think that with all this free time I have (ahem) I'd learn a new skill or two. I've come to the realization that for someone with no real job and no place to go every day, I keep incredibly busy. One day a week I spend with my mom--running errands and whatever she needs, every day I take my dog to the hill to run. She's crazy full of energy and if I don't get her exercise, she's more neurotic than usual. Actually, if I don't get out I'm more neurotic than usual. The rest of the time I'm busy updating search engines, networking and looking for some form of income. It's maddening. People don't think ...

Life is full of twists and turns, but mine seem to happen all at once - a steady, random flow of them. First I zig, then I zag, now I'm here, now I'm not...everything in my life seems to hinge on a random email, phone call or an internal primal scream. Just minding my own business tooling down my life's path then Whammo! Okay, I wasn't expecting that but why not? Sounds like it'll work and it feels right. Feelings! Those are my barometer every time. I'm in a nine year so endings are popping up everywhere and some are more difficult than others. My time here is at an end and I'm moving and this time it involves a return to familiar territory. I've been in the Lightworker Relocation Program for several years, actually. I think I have options, then I don't, then something miraculously aligns and an unexpected door opens. I have my hesitations about this move, though, because it's back to where I was, almost. I'm not the same person who left ...

This year is off to a galloping start and I understand that we're on the other side of compressed time or what I call expanding time. Very cool. I get the compressed idea as I've been constantly running out of it on a regular basis, but I've been looking forward to relaxing into the circular and ever-expanding aspects of time. Be careful what you ask for! I've actually had a good taste of it lately. My feet and leg issues demanded me to drop from full to part-time albeit reluctantly.The back and forth of can I really make it on part-time income vs being partial to eat  was the big question. My feet and legs made this internal dialogue non-negotiable. I was taking pain meds just to get through the day and it became quite clear that I had to take the chance and trust that I could fill the void with positive endeavors and added income. Time to practice my new mantra - fearless, right? Rrrriiiiigggghhhhhttttt... My new schedule quickly crashed from 40 hours a week ...

Jesus Mary and Joseph! Not exactly Hemmingway, but ahh, the perfect opening line in my world right now. The insufferable language lover in me loves a magical opening line in any context and tonight? Jesus, Mary and Joseph have it in spades. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Call me Ishmael. I am an invisible man. - you get the idea. To imagine that a moment such as this hasn't existed for 26,000 years and here I am, in gratitude that I actually have a ticket to this crazy ride. Who knew? Just wanted to take note in the moment and bear witness to its significance for us all. And now an introduction of my new motto: Be fearless - and for my role model, the Cowardly Lion, that translates into Courage. And so it is. Let the new game begin. ...roar...

The Man burns in 2 days and I can't believe I'm not in Black Rock City in anticipation of the burn. A few short weeks after New Year's Day, tickets go on sale and a remembering nudge begins then fades into other winter interests. Summer triggers a stronger yearning and I find myself taking inventory of all my camping gear which is still entrenched with Playa. Ahh...nothing like it. Somewhere around mid-August I start reminiscing about the unlikely series of events that led me to a life-changing experience known as Burning Man. I left for the Playa on 08/08/08 and joined the Commissary Crew for a month's adventure. I was one of the first "on Playa" and one of the last to leave. Tractor trailers were dropped into a carefully surveyed plot and I watched the city spring from the desert over the course of a few short weeks. Our trailers provided storage and kitchen space which were powered by generators whose constant hum lulled me to sleep at night and greeted me ...